By Genevieve A. Suzuki
“Caroling, caroling through the snow, Christmas bells are ringing.”
This song is going through my head over and over again as I write this column. And while you’d think it might be irritating, I can assure you it is a reprieve from the three songs my 5-year-old currently has on loop at any given time of the day.
The first song that has been played at least 20 times a day is “I’m Blue” by Eiffel 65. It’s a techno-type song that my husband thought would really catch our daughter’s attention.
He was right.
And now I hear about how some guy is blue, oba-di-oba-da, and how he lives in a blue house with blue windows three times in the morning, twice in the middle of the day and maybe one more time at night.
I hate that song so much now that the color blue makes me nauseous.
The second song on steady rotation is a song from Disney’s latest, “Big Hero 6.” I loved the movie, but hate the song. To be fair, it’s not “Immortals” by Fall Out Boy that makes me grimace, but the song, “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark.”
The title of the song is every bit as irritating as the actual song, which encourages the listener to “light ‘em up, up, up, light ‘em up, up, up.”
I don’t know what the singer wants ‘em to light up, but I feel like my 5-year-old wouldn’t be able to help this guy out. After all, she can’t go near a candle without immediately attempting to make a wish.
The third song is a K-pop song briefly featured in Andy Samberg’s TV series, “Brooklyn Nine-Nine.” Mysteriously entitled “Ice Cream (Milkshake)” by World Music Ensemble, the song contains several English words Quinn shouts out at any given time, followed by her made-up Korean words.
The worst part about this song is we really don’t know exactly what the lyrics are so Quinn came up with: “All I need is a milkshake and a man.” And while I completely empathize with that sentiment — my husband toting milkshakes home is one of my favorite treats — I’m not entirely comfortable with my daughter singing that lyric.
I finally sat Quinn down and asked her to please limit each song’s play on a daily basis. I tried to explain that even the United Nations and the European Court of Human Rights banned the use of loud music in interrogations, otherwise known as music torture.
“Playing the same song over and over again makes mommy want to cry,” I said reasonably.
She watched me quietly before responding, “Because you love it?”
“Er, no, because I get irritated.”
“Why?” she asked, deftly flipping this on me.
“Because it pains me to hear the same song over and over.”
“But I love these songs. Didn’t you play songs a lot that you liked?” she asked.
I realized then that I really didn’t. Back in my day, there were two ways you could hear your favorite song: You could pray to the radio gods that the local DJ would play your favorite song or you could buy the cassette tape and take the time to rewind the same song over and over again. By the third time you got to your song, it was almost impossible not to grow weary of the rewinding process.
Luckily for me, Christmas arrived just in time to save me from Quinn’s playlist. Give me Rudolph and Frosty any day over lighting ‘em up with a blue man and a milkshake.
—Genevieve Suzuki lives in La Mesa and is a past editor of this newspaper. She practices family law and can be reached through her website, sdlawyersuzuki.com.